Back to December
by demigod-witcch
Summary: My first ever songfic based on Taylor Swifts song "Back to December." Annabeth is remembering why her and Percy are growing so far apart. It happened right before he disappeared.


**_I DONT OWN PJO OR THIS SONG. ALL RIGHTS TO TAYLOR SWIFT AND RICK RIORDAN._**

* * *

**_I'm so glad you made time to see me. How's life? Tell me, how's your family. I haven't seen them in a while._**

She remembered the first conversation they had once she stepped off the Argo II. She asked him all about camp, what he was up to, and what his new family was like. She acted like it didn't hurt seeing him talk about his new life, but it ripped her apart inside.

**_You've been good, busier than ever. We small talk, work and the weather. Your guard is up and I know why._**

He told her about his quest and saving Camp Jupiter. They talked about their duties now that hadn't been doing them together. He told her about the perks and downfalls of being Praetor and she mentioned than cabin inspections hadn't gotten any easier. They laughed, but he was holding back. And it broke her heart because she knew why. She had hoped this had been permanently erased.

**_Because the last time you saw me is still burned in the back of your mind. You gave me roses and I left them there to die._**

_He had come in to see how her day was. She was having such a stressed week. All he had wanted to do was make sure she was doing alright. Her blueprints were horrible and her school life wasn't easy either. But when he walked in with a bundle of flowers, she turned him away._

_"I need to work"_

_"But… I was hoping we could spend the day together."_

_"Does it look like I have time?"_

_He handed her the flowers, but she just rolled her eyes and tossed them on the desk._

_"Thanks."_

**_So this is me swallowing my pride, standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night_**

She remembered screaming at each other, blaming each other for their struggling relationship.

**_I go back to December all the time. It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you. Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine._**

She didn't realize or even think about what the outcome of this fight would have been.

_"Well, if you had stopped being so selfish and thought about how much I've gone through for you-"_

_"Selfish?" she was at a yell. She eyes were wide with disbelief. "You never stopped to think about how hectic everything has been for me!"_

_"Why do you think I'm here! I wanted to make you feel better!"_

_"It was a worthless gesture from a worthless boyfriend!"  
_

_She regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth, but she didn't let him know that. Mistake number one._

**_I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right. I go back to December all the time._**

She thinks about what she said every day. It makes her eyes water.

**_These days I haven't been sleeping. Staying up, playing back myself leavin'. When your birthday passed and I didn't call._**

When he was gone all she could think about was what had happened when she had left her own cabin.

_She took a deep breath and tried to control herself._

_"Look, I just need some space right now. I-"_

_He interrupted her with a fierce glare. He was so angry._

_"You don't think I've given you enough space? I haven't seen you for almost four months!"_

But thinking about it now, it makes her heart sink.

**_And I think about summer, all the beautiful times I watched you laughing from the passenger side. Realized that I loved you in the fall._**

Looking back on the old days made her think about when she knew he was the one for her, during fall break when they found Lacy being attacked by a hellhound. She thought about Capture the Flag, canoeing, chariot races, and everything else that made her heart race with joy.

**_And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind. You gave me all your love and all I gave you was "Goodbye"._**

Then it was winter, and the deadline for her blueprints was coming up. She was so scared about what the gods would think! He was there by her side, but she wouldn't even look at him. She waved him away, but his love never wavered.

**_I miss your tanned skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right. And how you held me in your arms that September night, the first time you ever saw me cry._**

When he started to walk her back to the ship after dinner with the Romans, she couldn't help but miss him even though he was right next to her. They didn't hold hands. They didn't laugh. Nothing. She missed what they used to have.

**_Maybe this is wishful thinking, probably mindless dreaming. But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right._**

She looked at him as they approached the ship's ramp. She wanted to look into his eyes and see him smile at her. Grab her and kiss her, tell her that there was no way he didn't still love her. She wanted to promise him that she would never hurt him that way again. That she would do better.

He wouldn't believe her.

**_I'd go back in time and change it but I can't. So if the chain is on your door, I understand._**

She wanted to erase every single horrible word they said to each other. Go back and take away what she did to him. She looks at him and understands why he is so distance. Accepts it.

**_So this is me swallowing my pride, standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night." And I go back to December._**

"Percy," she calls as he starts to walk away from her.

He pauses and turns around, confusion on his face. "Yeah?"

"I'm sorry."

**_It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you, wishing I'd realize what I had when you were mine. _**

Being distant from him is something she never wanted, no matter what happened. She'd always had him, but now… now it was like he was leaving, even if he was still there.

**_I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right. I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind. I go back to December all the time._**

He stares at her, not sure of what to say. He knew what she was talking about, but she doesn't want him to say anything.

"If I could erase everything that happened the day you left, I would. My heart was in pieces when I realized you were gone and I didn't get to apologize. I never meant what I said. You aren't worthless, you mean more to me than anything. You're the best boyfriend anyone could ask for and I think about that night every time we look at each other. It kills me inside. But I know it's my fault and I'm sorry."

Her voice breaks. She takes a deep breath and turns around.

"I'm just so sorry."


End file.
